Age Na Number And Many Other Things



Betty: Babe, abeg transfer that song to me, biko.

Tawa: Which song be that?

Betty: That Rihanna song wey I send die! I need am abeg. Make I dey take am cool my brain. Akwukwo and Naija mata too hard.

Tawa: (laughing) You no well o!

Betty: You never taya to dey tell me dat one? Na today you know say I no well? Send me the song jor!

Tawa: Oya on your bluetooth na!

Betty: I don on am since. Knack am gi me jare.

Tawa: See person! You no senior Rihanna? Why you no go sing your own?

Betty: I pray o. Senior get mate o. Even though I senior her for age, if I see her I go greet her "sister, good morning o". I go even kneel down sef! Me senior Rihanna! I take God beg you o!

Tawa: (laughing hard) Kai! You just dey fall my hand.

Betty: And your leg too. For dis mata? I fall your leg join.

Tawa: So if you see Rihanna, you go greet am? When you go bone, form big girl for her!

Betty: You see ursef? Una go just dey deceive unaselves. Me and Rihanna na mate? E get how we fit be mate? She get correct voice, get  money wey dey smell anyhow, popular like Indomie, come hot join. She get light 24/7, dem no dey blink am at all. She get water. Her rides no fit spoil ka ka because of the over good road wey she dey drive dem pass. You tink say food na her problem? Abi money to buy cloth na her problem? Or to get correct guy na problem for her? You know how many dey beg her to marry dem? Her country dey serve her. Obama know her level. Abegi!

Wetin I get wey I wan dey form about? I dey manage myself for dis smelling Naija wey if pesin manage see light for two hours na party pesin go throw. No water, all the roads maga die! Mama Put sef con dey dear anyhow like Chicken Republic lem! Shuo! No man for the full Naija! All the men dey form nonsense forming, dey feel say to marry pesin na big favour dem dey do pesin. Dem dey look for tall, slim, sexy babes wey hold their side come get uyinmwen join. Lecturer go wan squeeze your boobi before he go pass you, whether you know book or not. I don read this textbook taya, e no dey enter. Many tins full the brain. Fear no dey let me call dem for crib because na one wahala after the other and as first pikin na me dey settle all the yawa. All of dem dey wait make I graduate get work for oil company begin send dem money. Meanwhile, if I see work for Okomu Oil sef, I go do party. Abeg, leave me for dross my dear. Me and Rihanna no be mate o. She be my senior sister. Dis one na perfect example of age is nothing but a number o!

Tawa: My dear, the mata tie wrapper. Me sef taya. E just be like say notin just dey happen for Naija! Na so we go dey dey?

Betty: As you ask me so, who you say make I ask? Abeg, send the song.

Tawa: I don send am and you don accept since.

Betty: You see wetin I dey tok about? Na only wahala my brain dey interpret now. Abeg, borrow me your ear piece. My own don cut.

Tawa: How e no go cut wen na so so ogbele tins you like to dey buy.

Betty: Na as e dey I buy am o. Remember say W-N-D-N-D o!

Tawa: Na true! Wetin No Dey No Dey true true. Chai!

Betty: Chai o, my dear...

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