Rekya's Flavors

A grown man should not have to be "taught" how to treat a woman (or any other person for that matter) with basic human consideration and respect. This he ought to have learnt from his parents when he was a little boy. To treat a woman right is a "No Brainer." You don't hit a woman, you don't yell at her, you don't make her feel less than she is, you don't order her around, you don't do things that will make her doubt a future with you, and if you know there isn't going to be a future with her, you don't string her along. You tell her how it is in the most respectful way possible. Ladies, a man's actions will always tell you how you stack up in his life. A man who truly wants to be in your life will do everything to stay in it and the one who doesn't won't stay no matter what you do. A man who truly loves you will never be too busy to see you as often as possible, he will always find a way to spend good quality time with y...

I think that the reason why we are broken when we lose someone dear to us is because a part of us leaves with that person. That part of us that housed everything about the person. The memories; every touch, every word, every impact that they made in our lives, every smile, every laughter, every tear... We can no longer touch them, feel them physically, and when we try to reach that part, we find nothingness. We find pain and despair. In trying to offer us solace, concerned family and friends say words of encouragement, of cheer. We nod absently, half-heartedly and without a shred of conviction to promises of a better tomorrow without our lost loved one. And then life goes on, as usual. We go back to living our lives even though we thought we would never be able to anymore. We get back to interacting with the world as best as we can because we still have life and so must live it. We move on to other times and people. This does not mean that we have forgotten about the one we lo...

It's been some funny past couple of days now. I even laughed at myself at a point because it seems like everything has happened to me. Mine is a helluva story. I love reading stories. I love telling them too. I may not be a perfect writer but I sure am a fabulous storyteller. I have my own story, in mine own head. I know the weaves, twists, plot... I know how it begins. I know the in-betweens. I know how it ends. I know my story. So when I find myself in the wrong one; where the characters, plot, setting, twists and pacing are distorted, I leave quietly because that is not my story. I know my story too well. There have been many twists on this journey but I get stronger with each one. I survive each one because I am an extraordinary woman. I am brave. I am courageous, I am strong and I have strength within. I do not break easily. That I do not. My anger comes once in a lifetime because it's like a flood in its coming. It takes along everything, so, it's sparsely re...

Phone rings... "Hello, good morning" "Good morning. Is this Joanne?" "Yes, this is she. And you are?" "My name is Sandra. You don't know me." Joanne: Okay, Sandra... Sandra: Well, I am Jason's girlfriend. Joanne: Jason's girlfriend... Sandra: Yes, you know him. I found your messages in his phone. Joanne: Okay... Sandra: Yes, so I wanted you to know that he has a girlfriend. Joanne: Okay. Sandra: Okay. Silence. Sandra: Because I saw all these messages where you called him "darling" and "love",  that's why I called to tell you he has a girlfriend so you'll not put your hopes on him. Joanne: Hmmm. That's very thoughtful of you. Thank you. Sandra: You are welcome. Joanne: Hmmm. Can I ask you a question? Sandra: Fine. Joanne: How long have you known Jason? Sandra: Long enough Joanne: Er... I don't think so. Sand...

Sometimes, we try to make sense of a particular issue. We search in our hearts for a solution. We try to think it through, to think up a way out. We try so hard but it doesn't happen. Then we have a conversation with someone. We listen to what they are saying or not saying. It could be just a word, a sentence, a gesture, a smile or a laugh. It could be anything, but that anything could illuminate that dark patch of the mind. We really should mind each other every now and then.

Sometimes I act crazy And say really bad things I yell at you I push you away I give you killing looks I hiss loudly at you I pretend not to care When you feel hurt I throw a tantrum Just to have my own way I refuse to cook for you When I am upset with you But remember you love me Remember all the things You say you love about me You love how I snore softly When I am fast asleep You love how I smile happily When you walk through the door You love how I moan When you kiss me in my secret places You love how well I fit in your arms Remember that I love you too And all the things I love about you Remember your arms are the only place That I feel safe in Only your kiss can ignite my fire Your hands leave me trembling Your voice is the only music I know It lifts me up, it soothes me I love how you care for me When I lay in bed sick How worried you look When I shiver from a cold I love how you smile with your eyes When I say you are my wo...

Sometimes after a break up/divorce, you grieve and mourn the relationship. You miss the person terribly and wish things could be different and at other times, it's just good riddance. Not every lost relationship deserves to be mourned. Some just happen for your liberation because you truly were in prison, you were terribly suppressed and tightly wound up. Sometimes, you don't need to cry over a heartbreak. Instead, you laugh because you are free, you get your hand back. You raise your standards and you do better next time.

Aramide opens her eyes to find her husband's head on her chest, his arm around her belly and his right leg thrown across her legs. As usual. The positions always varies but for the same purpose; to be aware of the time she leaves their bed, or "tries to escape" as he puts it. 'Seyi!' she smiles to herself as she carefully wriggles out of his pin hold. Seyi: (opens an eye) And where do you think you are going?' . Aramide: (laughs, as she gets out of bed) To take a shower. My alarm's gone off' Seyi: (grabs her hand in protest) Hey, I didn't hear it ring! Aramide: My mental alarm. Seyi: (matter-of-factly) That doesn't even count. Aramide: Why doesn't it? Seyi: If you are the only one who hears it, then it doesn't count. Come back to bed, baby' he pulls her back down and wraps his arms around her. Aramide: (half-heartedly) We need to start preparing for school run and work, honey. Seyi: (kisses her lips) In a bi...

Any relationship that is founded on lies and deceit is doomed from the beginning. Lies are always found out one way or the other. The person who is sharply intuitive will find you out as soon as they make up their mind to do so. Some people can present multiple personalities to multiple unsuspecting victims. It is disturbing to be this way. It speaks of a deep personality disorder or it can just be pure evil. Being who you are is hard enough with everyone around you wanting you to be who they expect you to be, let alone pretending to be who you are not. Your guard is always up. You need to count your words before you say them. You need to maintain a stainless record of all the lies you have told lest you slip and are found out. It is hard work. Too much hard work. You are on a leash, my friend. You are all wound up and if you are not careful, you will explode into a billion pieces. There is no feeling like being free to be who you are. Free to make mistakes, free to laugh, fre...

Every now and then, we meet that person we are sure we want to spend the rest of our lives with. We fall madly in love with them and do everything in our power to show it. We sing all the love songs we know to them, write the sweetest poems for them, try to look nice for them, say all the silly stuff to them. We effortlessly do things to make them understand how much we care. Sometimes, it works out and other times it doesn't. When its the latter, we cry and try to get them to change their mind and love us once more but sadly, it doesn't happen. Then we try to move on as best as we can. We pick up the pieces of what's left and try to go on. Now, two things happen; we either forgive, forget and move on while holding on to the lesson we learned or we don't forgive, don't forget, never move on and allow that person live rent-free in our minds. Oftentimes, a genuine love comes around and because we are still caught up in the past, we fail to recognize it. If ...

Arab Prince At The Salon One Day ... Betty:(flipping through the pages of a magazine) chai, chai, chai! Which kain tin be dis? As I sit here ehn, I can smell this man's money! Dorcas: Which man? Which money? Betty: This Arab man Janet Jackson got married to oh! See as the man get money ehn? Dorcas: Arab man ke? No be muslims dose people be? He's a muslim now? Betty: Ehen? And so what? Dorcas: Janet Jackson na Christian na! Betty: And your point is? Dorcas: My point is a Christian must never marry a non-Christian. Betty: Dorcas, so if I decide to  marry an Arab prince, you will preach this nonsense to me? Dorcas: If you decide to marry an Arab prince that would mean you would be unequally yoked with an unbeliever. Betty: And that's bad because ...? Dorcas: Because you will go to hell. That's what the Bible says. Betty: Hmmm. Okay. And we're supposed to live by the Bible, right? Dorcas: Yes... Betty: Well, the Bible says that if a woman has a husband w...

Some girls are waiting to meet their partners before they start living their lives. They put everything on hold, they refuse to live, to have fun and look forward to the future because the guy hasn't arrived yet. These kind of women never know who they really are. They never get to explore the person they are inside. They usually live other people's lives: like a best friend, a cherished sibling or a parent's. They're never their own person. So when the man eventually comes, she will live his life, do his bidding and if a day comes when she finds her self, problems arise. She becomes "obstinate and unsubmissive". Some women jump into marriage without any idea of what they need and want in a man. He just proposes and that's it! Please, live while you wait. Find out who you are so you can know what you want. Have fun with yourself. Travel if you can. See the world. Get knowledge. Please. Don't settle for less, too many people out there already hav...

I know that I am dreamy and that the kind of love I hope for may be unrealistic but I'd rather believe in my dream than to sigh and make do with what is available. My dream will keep me going, will make me wake up every morning exhilarated, will make me ask myself eagerly, "Is today the day that I will find him? Will it happen for me this day?" For what is life without questions? What is love without completeness, oneness? So, I would rather keep the hope burning bright in my heart than to wince inwardly when I say "I love you" and I know it is untrue. I would rather tingle from love scenes yet made than to bite my lips to keep from screaming another's name as my 'make do'  makes love to me. I would rather grin in glee to anticipated conversation than to listen to him half-heartedly, the ears of my heart straining to hear another's voice. I would rather be alone, hoping for the kind of love that I desire to find me, than to live unha...

Being in love is the best feeling ever. It makes you see things anew. It makes all things beautiful. It evens out problems. It makes you look forward to tomorrow. It makes life worthwhile. Assuming you're loved in return. Nothing hurts more than unrequited love. Or feeling more for your partner than they do for you. Especially when all you do is centered around them, when you live for them and forget yourself. It really is unhealthy to be in a relationship where your feelings for each other are not mutual. If you feel more, its going to hurt like crazy. Your partner is going to seem selfish and unfeeling because you're doing all these things for them and they don't reciprocate. Its going to feel like you're insignificant so here's my advice: Talk to your partner about your feelings. Find out how they feel about you and if you know its not enough, please get out of that relationship. You may not believe it right now but there's someone out there who is g...

People give up on love everyday. Hearts are broken per second. Bleeding hearts reeling from deceitful words resolve to never embark on the journey of love again. Disbelief grips the heart. Anger wells up from within. Betrayal shatters the reverie of a presumed everlasting love. But no matter how damaged you are, love is the answer. You truly can't heal without love. Be it self-love, the love of family and friends or the love of a spouse/partner, you need love to become whole again. Everyone deserves to be loved. There are terrible people abound, so are good ones. The key is knowing what you want, asking for it and waiting for it to come to you. Love is transparent. You always know when you are truly loved. And you always know when that love is right. Only you know that. You can lie to others, paint a perfect picture to them but you can't lie to yourself. Don't continue with a love that is wrong. A love that wounds you more times than it heals you. Otherwise, you will...

Even in the dark, You shine like the day. Every feel of you Is deeply fulfilling. My soul is in yours, and yours in mine. You are my essence, and I am yours. Oh, come drink of me, And let me draw from you. Let us be this way always, Let there be no end to us.

A lot of women are in terrible marriages/relationships. I'm talking about really dire situations. Sometimes, it hurts to wake up to another day with him, you are afraid to open your eyes every morning to your predicament. You walk on eggshells every day for fear of evoking the beast in him, which ironically rouses at the slightest provocation. You are afraid to breathe when you are around him, lest he reprimands you for breathing too heavily. You are afraid to speak lest he barks at you for saying that which does not suit his hearing. You do your best to prepare his meals exactly the way he wants it to avoid having him lash at your entire family for failing to bring you up properly. You are afraid to visit your family and friends because he complains that you love them more than you love him. You humbly concur to his demand to stay away from your loved ones. You watch your talent waste away with each passing day as he has forbidden you to have a career. You are totally dep...

As she fingered the photograph in her hand, the tightness in her chest grew. She thought of a million things she could do to make him love her but she knew nothing would work. Theirs was an impossible kind of love. She knew this when they started seeing each other last Christmas, even though he had said it was not impossible because when you like someone, everything should be about who they are and not their baggage. She looked at the photograph again, thinking back to when they'd had it taken. The radiance on their faces outshone the stars. Their smiles were so warm and happy. It was a lovely photograph and it captured the euphoria of a love so beautiful and pure. But that was then. The inevitable was now. She had to move on, she had to let go. As much as it hurt, she knew she had to let him go. She was tired of crying, of wishing and hoping, for it was truly a hopeless case. There was a wall between them now, a wall that couldn't be pulled down anymore. She would h...

If I can still love myself so much and want the best for me despite all of my faults, why can't I extend the same hand to others? I make excuses for myself all the time, I jump to my own defence at the slightest criticism or accusation from others. Why would I brand others wicked and unreasonable and call myself the best? If I still like myself and accept myself despite my many hang ups, why can't I accept others? If I love myself so much, why would I love my neighbour not so much? After all, I am them.

Why should a couple with no child be worried about it? Why should a family be torn apart because there is no baby? Why should in-laws terrorise the woman because she has not yet 'produced' a child for their son? Why should the step-parent mistreat the step-child? Why should the genotype-mismatched couple even consider having their own biological children? Why put an innocent child and yourselves through such needless anguish? If you truly have love in you, why does it bother you that the child is not from your loins? If you truly have love in you, shouldn't every child be your child? If you have been trying to have children with no luck, GO AND ADOPT A CHILD! If you are of mismatched genotype, GO AND ADOPT A CHILD! If you love that man/woman you are married to, LOVE THEIR CHILD(DREN). Everyone says that they have love in them but it's mostly for themselves. If you have love for others, do the right thing - prove it, show it.

Surely, thou art my love I vow to treat thee right I vow to love thee right Thou shalt know no hunger For thou shall eat mortar pounded yam By mine hand And my waters As pure as Ragolis Shall quench thy thirst Come let's dance to "Eminado" For that is what thou art to me... And I will love thee for evermore.

As we grow wiser, we begin to understand that love doesn't necessarily mean butterflies and flutterings, fevers and starry eyes. For butterflies die, flutterings abate and the stars truly belong in the skies. We come to understand that love means kindness, respect, understanding from a steady and faithful companion. We come to that point where we want to be loved, not by someone who makes us boil with feverish passions and says "I love you" with a mouth full of lies but by a genuine, mature and trustworthy person. And if that person kisses well, gives marvellous head and makes you get off, then you are mighty good.

Betty: Babe, abeg transfer that song to me, biko. Tawa: Which song be that? Betty: That Rihanna song wey I send die! I need am abeg. Make I dey take am cool my brain. Akwukwo and Naija mata too hard. Tawa: (laughing) You no well o! Betty: You never taya to dey tell me dat one? Na today you know say I no well? Send me the song jor! Tawa: Oya on your bluetooth na! Betty: I don on am since. Knack am gi me jare. Tawa: See person! You no senior Rihanna? Why you no go sing your own? Betty: I pray o. Senior get mate o. Even though I senior her for age, if I see her I go greet her "sister, good morning o". I go even kneel down sef! Me senior Rihanna! I take God beg you o! Tawa: (laughing hard) Kai! You just dey fall my hand. Betty: And your leg too. For dis mata? I fall your leg join. Tawa: So if you see Rihanna, you go greet am? When you go bone, form big girl for her! Betty: You see ursef? Una go just dey deceive unaselves. Me and Rihanna na mate? E get h...

It's happened to a lot of other ladies before. Now it's happened to you. You meet a guy and you hit it off with him. He's so into you, calls you all the time and talks to you for hours, talks to you about everything, tells you the nicest things you've ever heard, teases you, makes you feel so good. You feel like you're in heaven. Surely, you've never had it this good before, you've never felt this loved before, and you believe that it will last forever. Then it happens to you. The calls become less frequent. The conversations become hurried. The talks become ordinary, no longer deep. He becomes very busy. Too busy to call you and too busy to talk for too long. At first, you keep calling because, I mean this person is your person. Then you realize that it's become more than meets the eye. You realize that the great guy is gone. You realize it's happened to you. What to do? Well, you cry a little and then you move on....

"After all the kindness I showed you, you could pay me back this way?" Hmmm. If you had no ulterior motive, you would never feel bad if someone you were kind to hurt you. If you were genuinely kind, you would never feel bad about being taken for granted. If you had an understanding of what kindness means, there is no way you would regret your kindness to anyone. If you understood that your acts of kindness always return to you, there is no way you would feel cheated. You never expect this person to reciprocate. Instead, you pray that they pay forward the blessings you bestowed on them and then you go on to show more kindness to more people. Yes, you do that.

There are still so many amazing people in this world, including me . It's not because life has not "shown us pepper" but because we chose love despite that. That's the more reason why we should be kind because when you have walked a particular road, you would understand when someone else is walking that same road. Then you are naturally inclined to be supportive of that person and not be judgmental of their mistakes. You are sensitive to their pain. And sometimes, you drop a pinch of salt on their tongue to help get rid of the pepper in their eyes. Yes, you do that too. Have yourselves a beautiful week.

You know not how much Of me is inside of you. So much of me, darling, so much of me. Each day, I dream about Just holding you close. Just being with you You are lodged deep In my heart and I know no Way of getting you out of here. I've tried to but you just Cling so stubbornly to my insides. Not loving me, not letting me go.

I have come to realize that everybody has that one person somewhere they will love for the rest of their lives. A few are lucky to be married to that person while most are not so lucky. That person who is ready to walk to the ends of the earth with you, that person who is  willing to do anything for you. That person who is pleased with you and in all you do no matter how little, that person you do not need to impress so much. That person who wants to please you all the time, that person who makes your happiness their topmost priority. That person who would rather die than make you cry, that person who will never hurt you deliberately. That person who would be utterly devastated if something happened to you, that person who will defend and protect you with all their might. That person who understands you completely and knows what you need per time without any verbal exchange between the two of you. That person to whom you mean the world, you are their everything, th...

The new girl in class looked healthier than the rest of them so Gani knew that she was well fed. He knew she had breakfast, lunch and supper each day. No, this one did not have morning, afternoon or evening food. It was breakfast, lunch and supper for her. This one would never miss one meal because it was obvious she was from money. She probably had bread, butter and tea for breakfast, rice and chicken for lunch and yam and fried eggs for supper everyday. This one did not swallow amala with watery ewedu soup without. His stomach rumbled in protest as he had come to school that morning without any breakfast. He was dirt poor and would count himself lucky to be able to sneak into Baba Risi's compound every morning to drink water from his rusted tap. That is if Baba Risi left early enough for his kabu kabu business, otherwise, he would rain curses on Gani's father and grandfather, if he so much as smelled him or any other of the street 'urchins' near his dilapidated c...