Osakpamwan



No be eeeeeeen, , Osakpamwan the taizi driver carry one man and him babe go Kada Silima go wash E-dian fim to celebrate the independent?

The man pay for 4 hours because we know say E-dian fim dey long, so Osakpamwan get to hang around till dem wash the E-dian fim finish.

So, Osakpamwan con dey stroll around Kada Plaza o, dey look evritin.

Small time, naim he see where den dey sell popcorn, so e con waka go there make he buy.

Osakpamwan: Give me kpofcohn. (He said to the Sales Boy)

Sales Boy: Okay, sir. How many pack?

Osakpamwan: Onle one

Sales Boy: Okay sir.

And the Sales Boy come package the popcorn give am. Osakpamwan con put him hand for pocket wan bring out money

Osakpamwan: How much?

Sales Boy: 500 naira

Osakpamwan: You saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay? 500 wetin? Wetin no dey bellefu person? Abeg take e.

And he flung a 50 naira note at the Sales Boy.

Sales Boy: sir, its 500 naira. They wroted it down here. (And he pointed to the price list)

Osakpamwan: I think you know Oba market? E get one boy, Chidi wey dey sell kpofcohn deh. If you buy 50 naira own, you no go fit chop am finish, naim you dey tell me 500 naira for dis small tin, you imbecide!

Sales Boy: please correct yourself sir, I'm not a imbecide; I'm a imbecite. Pay me my money.

 Osakpamwan: I know say I no sabi speak oyibo but taink God say you know wetin be imbecide and you gree say you be imbecide.

They argue for a while and then the Supervisor steps in.

Supervisor: what's happening here, sir?

Osakpamwan: my sista, notin dey happun but this una salesboy want make sontin happun. Small kpofcohn wey no reach anytin naim he say make I con pay 500 naira for. Wetin go reach me take feed my wife and children for house.

Supervisor: but sir, that's the price. Our prices are fixed. Surely, you knew this before you placed an order for it!

Osakpamwan: I be winsh? How I wan take know say na so? I no be winsh and I no dey crase because na only crase person go know dat kain tin still chook head put. No be me na, whosai!

Supervisor: (to the Sales Boy) did you not show him the price list before serving him?

Sales Boy: I think that he know, ma. Everybody know na!

Supervisor: hmmm... How do we resolve this issue now?

Osakpamwan: which issue dey deh? I buy sontin, I wan pay, una collect the money from me, I go house. E never finish?

Supervisor: you know what? Just give the pack back, sir.

Osakpamwan: give which pack back? Na word you dey tok so, madam? I give notin o.

Supervisor: you need to sir, because its obvious you can't afford it.

Osakpamwan: I fit. Na una no wan accept the money.

The Supervisor tries to persuade him to return the pack of popcorn to no avail. She decides to involve the manager.

And the Manager bursts in. She looks hot in tight, black leather pants, with her full, rounded butt jutting out.

Manager: where is the fool that is being stubborn?

Osakpamwan stares at her in awe.

Osakpamwan: na me, madam.

Manager: what is your problem?

Osakpamwan: no problem madam. I dey beg dem make I pay 1000 naira for the kpofcohn, dem no gree, say na 500. But me I wan pay 1000.

Supervisor and Sales Boy gasp in shock and they cry out in unison "that's not true, ma"

Manager: (to them) shhhhhhhh. (she turns to Osakpamwan)Mr Man, you say you are willing to pay 1000 naira?

Osakpamwan: e no reach abi? Okay, I go make am 2000 naira.

Manager: good! Now pay up.

Osakpamwan: yes, madam. (And he dips his hand in his pocket and brings out two 1000 naira notes. He places the money on the counter and smiles at the Manager who is looking at him with a scowl on her face)

Manager: you can go now.

Osakpamwan: I know but I wan give you the kpofcohn. Na you I buy am for.

Manager:(smiling and collecting the pack from him) seriously? Wow! That's nice. Thanks.

Osakpamwan: no wahala. So I fit get your number, abi?

The scowl returns to the Manager' face.

Manager: oga, carry yourself comot here, abeg.

Osakpamwan: but...

Manager: I say leave here jor! ( She motions a guard over)

Osakpamwan:(walking away) I don go na! Dem no dey follow you play sef?

He lets out a sigh of relief as he walks briskly away.

Osakpamwan: taink God say dat maiguard hand no meet me o. But dat malager fine sha! Chai!










Happy Independence to you all! God bless Nigeria everyday!

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