Osakpamwan
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Osakpamwan pulled over to carry two passengers, a male and a female.
"Thank God dis two passenger go make my moto full. Na to blow direct to Ring Road now" he thought to himself as there were three passengers in the car already, one at the passenger's seat in front and two at the back.
The man entered first and then the woman got in next. She was big-boned so it was difficult for her to fit into the seat with the three other passengers as it was a small car,an Audi 80.
Others managed to create enough space for her to fit into which she eventually did, and she slammed the door shut with relief.
Osakpamwan pulled into the road,whistling to himself as he headed towards King's Square.
"Chei!" The man exclaimed.
"Oga wetin happen?" Osakpamwan peered at him through the rear view mirror
"Dis place too tight o,make this woman dress small na" he complained.
"Na where you con want make I dress go? Which space you put for here?" The woman spat vehemently.
"Ah ah,na quarrel? I just say make you dress na" he was surprised at her reaction.
"Na the same tin we dey talk so. Where you want make I dress go? And by the way,na only me dey inside dis moto? Why na me you dey tell to dress? See,mister man,no provoke me dis early morning o" she warned.
"Abeg,no curse me o,I get woman like you for house and she no go fit tok to me as you dey do so" he said angrily.
"And so what? Na me no get man for house? If you get woman for house,how e take consign me? I sorry for her sef because na so you go dey treat her for house" she eyed him.
"Na rubbish you dey tok so because ma woman no get anything to complain about" he said indignantly.
"I hear you. No be the one wey you tok for here we know? Na man like you dey take joko (local stool) follow woman sit down dey quarrel, na you go even dey go market sef, infact I sure say na soup things you wan go buy for Oba market so" she taunted.
"Which kain somebody be dis? What is strong wit dis woman? Na me you dey tok to like dis? Do you know me?" He was really vexed.
"Who is you? Who is you na? Tell me who is you make I tell you who is me. Nonsense." She spat at him.
"You get lucky say ma woman no dey here,she will have teach you lesson"
"I no run,go call your woman na,I go squeeze two of una trowey for corner."
"Yes na because you be iyele kute. See as you fat full everywhere"
"May e be,leave am. Na evident of good living. You no see as you dry like kpanla? See as your neck long like vulchure own. Hungry wan kill you that's why you dey follow woman eschange wars"
"I pity your husband because you no just get character at all"
"Leave am,my husband like me like that"
"I say I pity am because you are a degrace to am"
"Na you be degrace you hear?"
"E don do ooooo" another passenger begged.
"No,leave am make he dey follow woman eschange wars" she eyed the man with contempt.
"I dozen have your time" he replied
"Me sef dozen have your time because you dozen worth it" she countered.
"Madam,I must tell you that you were a bit too rude to this gentleman and you should apologize to him" another passenger in a suit and tie, said to the woman.
"You saaaaaay? See,take your time otherwise I go use that your tie twist your dry neck. See am. Dem no know whether na him wear suit or na suit wear am. Oloshi" she attacked
"Chei,which kain woman be dis wey no just get wan singule character?" the man shook his head.
"Abeg comot there. Na you come get. Clap for yoursef na" she hissed
"Oga,e don do. Abeg no follow am exchange words again. You know how women be na" the other passenger pleaded.
"I hear you,my brother. You do well" the man said.
"Hmmm,wetin I no go see for this my Taizi business. At least dem don quiet." Osakpamwan thought to himself as he sped to Ring Road
Osakpamwan pulled over to carry two passengers, a male and a female.
"Thank God dis two passenger go make my moto full. Na to blow direct to Ring Road now" he thought to himself as there were three passengers in the car already, one at the passenger's seat in front and two at the back.
The man entered first and then the woman got in next. She was big-boned so it was difficult for her to fit into the seat with the three other passengers as it was a small car,an Audi 80.
Others managed to create enough space for her to fit into which she eventually did, and she slammed the door shut with relief.
Osakpamwan pulled into the road,whistling to himself as he headed towards King's Square.
"Chei!" The man exclaimed.
"Oga wetin happen?" Osakpamwan peered at him through the rear view mirror
"Dis place too tight o,make this woman dress small na" he complained.
"Na where you con want make I dress go? Which space you put for here?" The woman spat vehemently.
"Ah ah,na quarrel? I just say make you dress na" he was surprised at her reaction.
"Na the same tin we dey talk so. Where you want make I dress go? And by the way,na only me dey inside dis moto? Why na me you dey tell to dress? See,mister man,no provoke me dis early morning o" she warned.
"Abeg,no curse me o,I get woman like you for house and she no go fit tok to me as you dey do so" he said angrily.
"And so what? Na me no get man for house? If you get woman for house,how e take consign me? I sorry for her sef because na so you go dey treat her for house" she eyed him.
"Na rubbish you dey tok so because ma woman no get anything to complain about" he said indignantly.
"I hear you. No be the one wey you tok for here we know? Na man like you dey take joko (local stool) follow woman sit down dey quarrel, na you go even dey go market sef, infact I sure say na soup things you wan go buy for Oba market so" she taunted.
"Which kain somebody be dis? What is strong wit dis woman? Na me you dey tok to like dis? Do you know me?" He was really vexed.
"Who is you? Who is you na? Tell me who is you make I tell you who is me. Nonsense." She spat at him.
"You get lucky say ma woman no dey here,she will have teach you lesson"
"I no run,go call your woman na,I go squeeze two of una trowey for corner."
"Yes na because you be iyele kute. See as you fat full everywhere"
"May e be,leave am. Na evident of good living. You no see as you dry like kpanla? See as your neck long like vulchure own. Hungry wan kill you that's why you dey follow woman eschange wars"
"I pity your husband because you no just get character at all"
"Leave am,my husband like me like that"
"I say I pity am because you are a degrace to am"
"Na you be degrace you hear?"
"E don do ooooo" another passenger begged.
"No,leave am make he dey follow woman eschange wars" she eyed the man with contempt.
"I dozen have your time" he replied
"Me sef dozen have your time because you dozen worth it" she countered.
"Madam,I must tell you that you were a bit too rude to this gentleman and you should apologize to him" another passenger in a suit and tie, said to the woman.
"You saaaaaay? See,take your time otherwise I go use that your tie twist your dry neck. See am. Dem no know whether na him wear suit or na suit wear am. Oloshi" she attacked
"Chei,which kain woman be dis wey no just get wan singule character?" the man shook his head.
"Abeg comot there. Na you come get. Clap for yoursef na" she hissed
"Oga,e don do. Abeg no follow am exchange words again. You know how women be na" the other passenger pleaded.
"I hear you,my brother. You do well" the man said.
"Hmmm,wetin I no go see for this my Taizi business. At least dem don quiet." Osakpamwan thought to himself as he sped to Ring Road
Hahahahahahaha!
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