Rekya's Flavors

I stand in front of my window and stare at the expanse of land before me without actually seeing it. I don't see it because my mind's in far away Dreamland. I dream all the time. I dream of who I want to be, places I want to visit, people I want to see. I dream of standing behind a lectern or on a podium, addressing millions of people on any topic that I please. I dream of riding in a limousine, moving in an entourage, waving at screaming fans, watching in amazement as some of them swoon at the sight of famous me. I dream of anchoring a TV show, or the News. My face would be on every TV screen in the city. I dream of shopping in huge malls. I dream of owning the malls. I dream of being an ambassador to other countries and I would perform so efficiently that there would be talk of me becoming the next president. A lot of thoughts run through my mind; some very crucial and some I have no business thinking about. I think of my sister, Claire, whose wedding day i...

Coco quickly shut her mind against the howling of the harmattan wind outside. The sound always took her back to five years ago when she had hurried out of her hometown, a place where the women did all the hard work and the men only drank 'ogogoro' and impregnated as many women as possible. The wind had protested in her ears and swept dust into her eyes but she had trudged on, resolved to fulfil her mission. She had fled to Lagos to find a better life, a different life from her mother's. Her baby brother, Meeky had cried his heart out all through the celebrations because his best friend had left him. So each year after that, she would return the same time she had left. Not because of Mama, whose only concern was to make enough profit from her trade so she could provide for her home otherwise Papa would turn his "attention" to another more prosperous woman. Not for Papa who had so many other children, that it did not matter if she came or went. Not for Willy,...

Inside Osakpamwan Taizi ... Osakpamwan: Abeg, na one one fifty to Ugbor road o! Chuma: Tufiakwa! Paul: Ha! Chief Ben: Shuuuuu! Pastor Moses: Chineke! Nosa: 'Salobua! Charles: Awiloooooo! Doc Frederick: Dammit! Hehehehehe! Osakpamwan: Na so e be o, my pipo. No pentro for Bini. Paul: But why you no tok am for park na? Oda taizi been dey load hundred, hundred naira. I for kukuma enta dat wan na! All: Abi o! Osakpamwan :(unsmiling) I tok am, maybe una no hear. Mudiaga: Lai lai! You no tok anytin lai dat. Which kain rubbish be dis na? Osakpamwan: If una no go pay make una con dan make I revise o. We neva too go far. Mudiaga: Revise go wia? When we don go far? And you know say we no go see anoda taizi for hia. Na wicked be dat na. Chuma: Bia, wetin be the mata wit you? Ah tink somtin dey wrong for ya hade. Wetin ah go tell ma babe say ah yuze the balance 50 naira do? She kakulate all the money for ma hand. Make una see me wahala! Osakpamwan: No be m...

Meanwhile, for inside Osakpamwan taizi as he dey drive pass Oba Palace: Sunny: Bia, no be bat dey fly so? Ah tink na dis bat dey cause Ebola? Why dem still dey hia? Prince: Oga, where dem go go na? Sunny: Not fumigayshon dem call am? Make dem blow am for air jare make e kill dem all. Osakpamwan: So, you mean say you no fit chop bat meat? Sunny: Tufikwa. Me, chop bat meat? Ah no wan die, biko. Ah neva reach. If na dog meat you tok, ah go hia. Prince: Oga, you dey chop dog meat? Sunny: Ma broda, dog meat na the best meat ah don test for ma life. Osakpamwan: True? How e dey be for mouth? Sunny: Ah no sabi but ah know say wen ah chop am e sweet. Ah no fit deeskribe am. Willy: Oga driver, dog meat na helele. No be small something dey there o. I dey feel dog meat wella because the water dey cure fever. If dem use am cook pepper soup come slice yam put. Mbok, na brain you go hear am. No be "essential" dog o, dat one no dey sweet. Na dose strong one I dey tok so. Sunny: Nkita! Will...

King's Square. Lots of passengers and no taxis. Sunny, Prince, Clement, Pastor Ken and Agnes are all waiting to get a cab. An empty taxi pulls up and Sunny rushes to it, yanks open the passenger side door and jumps in. Others follow suit. Sighs of relief from them as they all try to settle in. Just then, another lady, Bridget rushes towards the taxi and yanks open the passenger side door. Sunny: Madam, e don full biko. Try make yu fine anoda taksi. Osakpamwan: No, oga na two passenger i dey carry for front so dress for the madam abeg. Sunny: (Grumbling as he creates space for Bridget ) Make una see me wahala. So becos say taksi scarce naim you wan add anoda pesin join me? Ah wonda for dis driver o. Bridget gets in and Osakpamwan drives off. Sunny mumbles something under his breath as he shifts and turns. He's clearly uncomfortable. He sighs and then hisses. Everyone else is silent. "Chai!" Sunny finally exclaims Osakpamwan peers at him, then at Bridget and a wicked...

Peggy's hand tightened around the receiver as she listened to the Doctor read out her test results over the phone. "Did you hear me say positive, Ma'am?" he asked from the other side. "Yeah. Got it. Positive!" She said in frustration and slammed the receiver on the hook. Dammit, dammit to hell!!!!!!!!! She couldn’t believe her ears. Positive? The first and only time she’d had sex without a condom? Dammit! She was going to kill that son of a bitch. She had always known he was no good for her. With that goofy grin and stupid, puppy dog eyes. She had asked herself time and again why she had even gotten involved with him in the first place. He wasn’t her type at all, yet she had gone ahead and gotten involved with him and not just that, she’d had unprotected sex with him. Damn! She never cried. If not she would be bawling her eyes out right now. She was going to call him right away and give him a piece of her mind. She shouldn’t be feeling the misery alone. ...

No be eeeeeeen, , Osakpamwan the taizi driver carry one man and him babe go Kada Silima go wash E-dian fim to celebrate the independent? The man pay for 4 hours because we know say E-dian fim dey long, so Osakpamwan get to hang around till dem wash the E-dian fim finish. So, Osakpamwan con dey stroll around Kada Plaza o, dey look evritin. Small time, naim he see where den dey sell popcorn, so e con waka go there make he buy. Osakpamwan: Give me kpofcohn. (He said to the Sales Boy) Sales Boy: Okay, sir. How many pack? Osakpamwan: Onle one Sales Boy: Okay sir. And the Sales Boy come package the popcorn give am. Osakpamwan con put him hand for pocket wan bring out money Osakpamwan: How much? Sales Boy: 500 naira Osakpamwan: You saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay? 500 wetin? Wetin no dey bellefu person? Abeg take e. And he flung a 50 naira note at the Sales Boy. Sales Boy: sir, its 500 naira. They wroted it down here. (And he pointed to the price list) Osakpamwan: I think you know Oba market? E get one ...